Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I sprained my soul last night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
