all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
