I can tuck mytits in my pants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
