I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
