We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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