I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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