you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
