Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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