Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
