Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
