Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
