There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
