it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize