Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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