The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
