dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
