I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize