I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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