it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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