So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
