as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize