Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
