I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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