I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
