I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
