I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
