fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
that's an acceptable place to lick
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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