Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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