Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
