i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
