Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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