3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Operation Purity has been aborted
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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