dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
