You're my little dorito
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
