I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
