My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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