doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
