we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
