Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
