Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
