Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
did i just pee glitter
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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