Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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