Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
