Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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