Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is wine microwaveable?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
