She's the barista slut.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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