Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
