i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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