just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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