Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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