i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
