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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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