Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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