Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
