I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just had sex on a roof
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
