Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
