Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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